Friday, January 8, 2010


It's 12:15 AM and I fly back to Madrid tomorrow. I'm not ready. Physically or emotionally. I've been delaying packing and I think it's because I didn't want to believe I actually have to leave. Don't get me wrong, I love being in Spain and I'm sure when I go back I will go right back to my routine over there. But coming home has been a difficult experience. It feels like I've stepped out of the wardrobe and found that no time has passed since I left. (Yes, that's a Narnia reference.) I got off the plane in DC and felt like I was right back in the summer (except there was a little more snow) and I had never left. I remembered all the friends that I miss as well as the time I get to spend with my family. It feels like I have two separate lives and I'm starting to accept that they will always be separate. I have this weird glitch in my personality that has always made me want to share all of my experiences with the people closest to me. So when I do something fun like move to Madrid, I always think about how much cooler it would be for my family and friends to experience it with me. I think one of the things I've had to learn is how to enjoy those experiences for myself which has really helped me to be more independent.

Having said that, here I am 16 hours from boarding a plane to leave the comforts of friends and family all over again. It's definitely not a totally negative feeling, but I can't help but feel like my time here was so short and I wish I had more time to spend with everyone.

Well, no use in dwelling on it. Time to get to work on packing.